(Source: buttsandcuteness)

198634 | reblog

dilfgod:

lunawinchesterat221tardis:

mxdisonwxtkins:

vann-haal:

beben-eleben:

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”
She responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

well this took an unexpected turn

this is interesting .

PLOT TWIST

haha rape jokes are so funny

dilfgod:

lunawinchesterat221tardis:

mxdisonwxtkins:

vann-haal:

beben-eleben:

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 

“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

well this took an unexpected turn

this is interesting .

PLOT TWIST

haha rape jokes are so funny

140006 | reblog

Anonymous said: My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.

evijgunz:

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

😂😭👏

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(Source: batomdeviado)

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(Source: fullmtal)

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patrickandmarcus:

the single greatest moment of the series

patrickandmarcus:

the single greatest moment of the series

(Source: madeupmonkeyshit)

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(Source: cumdoodle)

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(Source: davidurbanke)

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